My Own Imagination Of Doug Walker Reviewing Kyoryu Sentai Zyuranger!
After seeing Nostalgia Critic review Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers movie and man, I wonder if he really ruined my childhood or is he just pointing out the stupid in just everything for comedy reasons? I couldn't consider him a pessimist considering that he happily makes fun of everything while stating the positive. I mean, no matter how he points out a lot of goofs in just about everything (and yes, he did make fun of Conan the Barbarian which I thought was funny even if I like the movie), he does point out the positive although at times, he hardly pointed out anything positive to films he personally dislikes.
Now moving on to Doug and Zyuranger....
I guess the first thing that might happen is that Doug himself would first see the credits. He might do the usual, "Hey it's the dinosaurs of my childhood!" then well, you might actually expect him to say something like, "Wait a minute, what am I watching? This ain't Power Rangers! Oh wait, this is KYORYU SENTAI ZYURANGER released by Shout! Factory for... older fans?! Isn't this supposedly a kid's show? Now let's see and oh yes, this ain't teenagers with attitude but rather, ancient warriors from.. THE LAND BEFORE TIME!" Maybe we'll see land before time footage then Jurassic Park footage in there.
He may soon insert the phrase, "That's right this isn't Power Rangers but Super Sentai. Super Sentai is a Japanese genre that began with Goranger (insert Goranger footage) and currently, we have (insert Super Sentai)... and Zyuranger took place in the 90s. As you see, you have a lot of stuff so hang on." We might actually get a lot of shock... besides, it's pretty weird show and it's culturally different if you ask me."
I guess he might really make some funny comments like, "Oh wait so Zordon errrr Barza was never trapped in a tube. Who we think was Rita Repulsa isn't Rita Repulsa... oh wait, it's not Rita Repulsa. That's right folks, she's Witch Bandora and she's much nastier than Rita." We might see a footage of MMPR's bad dubbing then we see Bandora's evil laugh then he says, "See what did I tell ya? Bandora's really more evil than Rita Repulsa! She hates children for some stupid reason... and yeah, she's not the same Rita we know... what do they show this stuff to children?! O wait, Japan and America has different standards huh?"
I guess he might say, "Well Bandora hates children and I dunno why she hates children." I would believe me might actually criticize the silliness of some plots like the genie saying, "Wow these children don't know what's hitting them." He might even compare the brutality of the plot of Bandora poisoning Mei and say, "I admit, that was crazy that Bandora wants to turn children into apples, what's wrong with her?" or "Wait, riddles? Wow that's really crazy! Why would you create a monster that asks riddles and trap them on trees? Is it me or is it Bandora is really full of ham? I'll admit, the original Rita errr Bandora is really full of crazy moments... that I've got the headache isn't so used and we see her do a lot more goofy stuff than that.
I guess he might also WTF on the Burai arc... I mean, no series is perfect right and Nostalgia Critic loves to point just about everything in a movie. Oh, I could imagine him saying like, "Oh boy whats wrong with Gnome and Barza... chasing a kid with guns to stop him from reviving Burai? WTF is wrong with you people..." then we might see a Looney Tunes scene of Elmer Fudd or something similar. He might rant about how stupid the scene this then... you know.
Well he might say, "Oh so that's Burai and wait... he's freaking badass... more badass than Tommy." We might see scenes of him really give his usual praise for such a scene but when it's time for the Bandora Dance, he'd say, "WTF! The villains are dancing?! Why didn't I see this in Mighty Morphin'? But that song has a different beat to Hey Rita!" which he might play for awhile anyway before he starts dancing to the same beat.
He might also point something like "If the Megazord errrrr Daizyujin could move on its own, why does it need the Zyurangers? I dunno which is dumber, that one or Zordon choosing teenagers with attitude?!" Then he might soon say, "Oh wow! Jason and Tommy never did that!" when it comes to Burai vs. Geki or "Burai WTF?! You think you can just attack Bandora and get away with it? Not even Tommy could hold his own against Rita!" I might even imagine him over the green candle then he'd say, "As you see the Green Candle here is NOT Bandora's but nope, it symbolizes how much life Burai has left. WTF!" I think he might leave some weird comments on Burai's condition like, "So the next few parts of Zyuranger are spent on... Burai's dying condition then he DIES!"
When it's time for Burai's death, it would be time to insert Land Before Time footage (the mother dinosaur dying) or Optimus Prime dying. He might say, "As you see unlike Tommy in Zyuranger, Burai isn't so lucky. Granted, he was really Green with Evil at his own free will and joined the Zyurangers at his own free will. I would say that he did a heroic sacrifice giving the Water of Life to a child without knowing it won't work on him since he was living on borrowed life. So I guess you couldn't have that in MMPR could you?"
I would even think he might criticize the finale with words with, "WTF?! Bandora lost all her powers because she's cried? That's the lamest witch plot ever! So we see Daizyujin or Megazord, whatever seal the bad guys off who later have a dance number. After that, we see what could be the dumbest moment of Japanese TV programming. WTF you handed over those two dinosaurs to a kid..." then we have a Jurassic Park footage or something to see what could happen to Tokyo. "Well I don't know what the writers and executives were thinking! Anyway, the Zyurangers prepare to depart for Heaven because they really don't belong to our era. What? Couldn't they just stay here? Anyway, that's that."
So maybe Nostalgia Critic might say a lot of other stuff like the WHY WHY WHY like he did in the review of the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers movie like, "Why do the Zyurangers wear that outfit in almost every occasion? Why did Bandora forget about her son Kai for so long but still hate children? Why why why! 'Til next time... and I may do the Dairanger review!"